When I finally woke up, she wasn’t there. She was in the pool, submerged: she could not swim.
Tag: healing
I feel better and also worse after my last post. I don’t know what to make of the issues I was pondering, including issues of place and belonging, that I did not directly touch on to write my last post. It did not make my life better to work out the issues I raised with […]
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The nature of memory
Memory is slippery. To begin with, there are things in my past I don’t remember clearly, either because I was very young or because I was too horrified. I do “remember” some things that are so shocking I sometimes think I made them up to be dramatic and at other times they feel so real […]
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Not too little, not too much
I am thinking about attachment today. I believe there is an intersection between attachment and the two brain systems. Secure attachment can be seen as a way of thinking in which the two systems are integrated and the two work smoothly together.
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All is well
When I was young, my mother yelled at me for writing. I loved to write difficult and painful subjects. It’s still true of me. I don’t write positive articles or encouragement. Life is full of difficulties. If we understand it, life is easier. There is no difficulty that cannot be overcome. I’m always seeking to understand. It is my philosophy of life.
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Wounded
I’m talking about disorganized attachment and abusive relationships that distort my thoughts and expectations. I am more aware of my little problems because I feel hurt. I feel hurt because I was hurt in the past when I tried to be seen and to be recognized most likely by my parents and my mother in particular.
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Emotional skin
I recall with particular horror one warm, weekend afternoon with all of us sitting in the livingroom while my mother threw pills in her mouth that she did not swallow, but said she would. It was purely for show, but she was serious about expressing something.
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Traumatic Grief
Mourning is a process. We now understand that there is no order to it. However, bereavement involves stages that allow the bereaved to reformulate his life without the deceased. There is denial, anger, sadness, depression, acceptance. The stages of grief are well-known now. However, in the case of a death in which the manner of […]
Holland 